In Our Lifetime

What has happened in your lifetime? I remember doing an interview of a dear friend that called Grandma Ferwada for a grade 5 assignment. We talked about her life and all that she experienced in her lifetime. I was amazed at the things but here is a brief overview of our conversation; she was born in the late 1800’s, she exprienced the War to End All Wars ( World War 1), the Great Depression, World War 2, the hype/mockery around the horseless carriage, glass milk bottles, no plastic, radio to tv, the evolution of the telephone, birth and growth of Canada, birth/death, family tragedy & celebration. All of this, and so much more,  in her lifetime.

Here’s one thing that I want to expreience in my lifetime!

Fancy Cars & Chocolate Bars

Bone Marrow Transplant Day+12.

The doctors have said that if all goes according to plan (who are we kidding) then Heather could come home on Day+20-30. That is great news! I’m tired of answering Nathan’s two dominant questions; 1) When is mommy coming home? Me: Soon! [That's all I can say, he has no concept of days], 2) I want my mommy daddy! Now I realize that this last one is not a question as it is more a verbal cry of his heart. When I was young, I cried for my mommy with the best of them. Nathan has a heart felt need for his mommy, and that’s FANTASTIC! The Smyth boys have been doing really well even though we have both been sick and the end is in sight. You see, in order to visit Heather you need to be symptom free from colds for a minimum of 3-days/72hrs. So I have not been able to see Heather since Thursday, November 26th. If this cold gets out of my system today I should be able to see Heather this weekend, December 4-6. Over a week later!

Nathan and I were out buying a Christmas present for his uncle Paul. We made an adventure of it. Once in the store we wandered and played hide-n-seek. Quick Tip: When you are in the Plasma/LCD TV section of a store, don’t play hide-n-seek. Crash! I’m not saying any more. So we walk towards the cashier and you have to walk past all the gadgets/toys and chocolate bars. What does Nathan start asking for? A chocolate bar! “Daddy, can I have a chocolate bar?” Me: No Nathan, you don’t need a chocolate bar. [Pause] Nathan: I know I don’t NEED a chocolate bar, I WANT a chocolate bar! Now wanting to show my extraordinary parenting skills to the teenage cashier serving me I turn to Nathan and say in a matter of fact tone, “Nathan, I WANT a new car. You give me a new car, you can have a chocolate bar.” So there! I turned back to the cashier with a proud smile on my face because of my victory over a 3 year old. YES!

Then it happens.

Nathan reaches up, touches my hand and says, “Here you go daddy.” With just four little words I knew I was either in trouble or I had been successfully defeated by a 3 year old.

I looked down and there he was with a confident look on his face. I then looked at his had that was touching mine. There in his hand was the brand new HotWheels car that he had received the day before from friends. I took the car from him, looked at it, looked back at him in astonishment. Nathan then said, “can I have my chocolate bar daddy!?!” I looked at the cashier, looked back at Nathan and said to him, “Yes, you can go get your chocolate bar.” He ran as fast as he could, got his peanut free Mars bar and came back.

Now as any good parent, I’m willing to admit that I was defeated, in public, by my 3 year old. But as any wise parent I kept the car. I put it on my dresser as a trophy of defeat. Three days later Nathan see’s the car sitting on my dresser and says, “Is that the car I traded for my chocolate bar?” Me: Yes Nathan, it is. Nathan: That was a good trade daddy!

So each day I look at that car I’m reminded that it will not be the last time that I am bested by my son. It also showed me that that if Nathan could make it happen for something that he wanted, he was willing to part with a new toy and not ask for it again. What an entrepreneur.

Harvesting Bone Marrow

Many of you have been asking all about the bone marrow transplant procedure that Heather will be having on Wednesday. Questions like:

• Is it surgery for Heather?
• How do the get the bone marrow from the donor?
• What is the bone marrow transplant procedure?

I’ve attached a brief  5-minute video on how they get bone marrow from the donor. If you look closely, the presenter holds a bag of bone marrow up as a display. The rest of the video is about harvesting bone marrow from a donor.

ht to TED Talks

Why does the squirrel cross the road?

So Heather and I told Nathan after breakfast that mommy and daddy needed t talk to him. Not sure what a 3yo thinks when you say that to him. I know what I thought in high school, I knew that the DTR (define the relationship) conversation was coming. So here’s what we said,

Nathan, remember how we have been praying for baby Benjamin who has been in the hospital? Nathan says yes! Baby Benjamin was in the hospital because the doctors needed to make sure he was all better before they would let him go home and be with his family. Nathan says, but we prayed and God healed him and now he’s home with his family. That’s right Nathan, he is at home with his family. Nathan, Dr. Crump (mommy’s doctor) has told mommy that she needs to go into the hospital because mammy is sick and she needs to stay there until she is better. Nathan, you going for a sleep-over mommy? Mommy, Yes I’m going for many sleep-overs and you and daddy are going to be sleeping here at the house.

At this point Nathan is trying to put the pieces together and I’m trying to let him process as best he can as a 3yo.

So Nathan, we need to pray for mommy just like we prayed for baby Benjamin when he was in the hospital. We need to pray for the doctors and nurses that will be caring for mommy and that God would heal mommy’s body and she will be able to come home soon. Nathan starting to cry, but I don’t want mommy to leave. Me, Nathan-mommy needs to get better and the best place for her to get better is the hospital. I then suggest that all three of us pray for mommy and that we even place our hands on mommy as we pray. Nathan throws himself on the floor crying, but I don’t want to pray. I then suggest that he listen as we pray for mommy. I prayed for Heather and Nathan moved around on the floor but listened quietly. Afterwards, he was all ready to go on to the next thing.

Now I’m no child psychologist and I’m sure that Nathan is going to be processing things each day and each day will bring its own unique challenges. Here’s what I have observed since our conversation. Nathan will be all excited about doing something and then minutes or even seconds later he will change his mind and not want to do that. This is now new behaviour for him. I’m not sure if the two are related or if it’s just Nathan being 3yo. All I know is that before our conversation he didn’t have this behaviour and now he does. Nathan is a determined 3yo who can stand his ground but when he makes a decision he normally does not change his mind. Now on certain things, not everything, he does.

Nathan’s new behaviour reminds me of driving down the road and watching a squirrel start to cross in front of me. Has this ever happened to you? I honestly have no idea where they are going and if they are going to go half way, the whole way, turn around, go back, freeze, run at the car,etc.. It literally causes me to become anxious and my heart to start racing as I’m approaching the squirrel the possible end of this squirrel’s life.

So when Nathan starts to change his mind and I feel the tension and anxiety rising up within me I’m reminded of this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6

Tears & Pizza

Eight sleeps. That’s all I have with my wife. It’s not as bad as you might think, maybe. Heather is going in to hospital for a Bone Marrow Transplant on November 12th. She’s then in hospital for 4-8 weeks depending on how she responds to treatment. Since August, Heather has been receiving chemo that has decreased her immune system to very low levels. We now have to be very cautious here at home. Looking not only for our interests but for Heather.

So today, I went with our 3yo boy Nathan and our friend Arianne to stand in line for the H1N1 vaccine. To be honest I don’t normally get the seasonal flu shot. So why this year? Because I want to see my wife while she is in hospital-isolation and to protect her. So we stood in line, played with various items, ate way too many Starbursts, and then they finally called our names. So I asked Nathan to come with me and he did. First good sign as we walked towards the nurse. You see, I told Nathan that we were lining up for medicine. I didn’ tell him it was a shot untill we started to sit down beside the nurse and I rolled up my sleeve. Now to be honest I worded it that way to avoid any 3yo complications that could have made our 90minute wait seem like an eternity. So Nathan watched the needle go into my arm and he even asked if it hurt? I said, a little. Trying to make up for my deception for the past 90minutes. I then told him it was his turn to get the medicine. Que the tears. Now I know my son really well Andi know when he’s faking and I know when he’s sincere when he cries. This time I honestly could not tell. So I rolled his sleeve up, held him close, turned his head and did what any parent would do in that situation, I told him we would pick up pizza for supper. The tears immediately stopped. He pulled his head back and looked me straight in the eyes to make sure he could once again trust me, got a really excited look on his face and turned to the nurse who had just stuck him with the needle and said, “we’re gonna have pizza for supper!”

We stopped on the way home and picked up our favourite local pizza from Gino’s, ordered a Hawian with ham and bacon. Nathan loved every minute of it.

I asked Nathan as we were saying our goodnights, what his favourite thing was from today? He said, “Picking up pizza for mommy!”